Do You Use Pregnancy Message Boards?

Pregnancy message boards are a popular way for expecting mothers to connect with other women who are going through the same thing. With thousands of woman-to-woman conversations, some of these forums may be supportive and helpful, while others may be more critical or judgmental. Considering that many new moms face overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, it can be quite comforting for them to find other women who also feel inadequate. However, this is not always the case. Many mothers have found themselves being criticized about their weight loss or lack of sleep during pregnancy - comments that made them feel as though they had failed in some capacity. In other words, these forums can be a double-edged sword in which to participate.

I personally tried to stay away from pregnancy message boards after reading some of the comments being written by people who were much older than me. Their opinions were foolish, and I wondered why they felt the need to be so critical of others, but I took it upon myself to ignore them and focus on the more positive aspects of being around people who were going through similar experiences. When my husband died during my last trimester, it was the online communities that gave me the comfort and support that I needed to bring him into this world.

The following are just a few ways in which online message boards can be beneficial.

1.) They allow you to connect with other women who are going through the same things as you are.

2.) You can get answers to your questions that may not be available in your doctor's office. Several of my friends found out information about certain medications and procedures from their message board communities - things that their doctors did not necessarily tell them.

3.) They facilitate a place where support is readily available when needed. If you feel down or sad, you can simply log onto your message board, and find plenty of comments from other mothers that will lift your spirits.

4.) There are some message boards that critique mothers in terms of their diet during pregnancy, which may be problematic for some. However, many offer a place for women to vent freely without being judged. This is especially helpful for those with eating disorders or who do not have the support that they need from their families and doctors.

As I mentioned previously, these forums can also be an issue for some new moms. My husband was a new dad at the time of his passing, and we were both fairly new to this experience. I didn't always understand the manner in which some mothers on message boards spoke about their experiences. It seemed as though they were not quite as supportive of my feelings as they should have been, and perhaps even critical of me when I needed help most. Still from time to time there are people on those message boards that seem to be reasonable, helpful and supportive. You just need to know where to look for them. I always knew that there were others going through similar things who were reaching out for support, but sometimes reality is not what it may seem...

Conclusion:

There were so many ridiculous things that had been posted on these message boards. I couldn't believe the number of women who felt they could post negative messages about someone else's baby. What kind of person would do that?

I'm sure there are plenty of great message boards out there, but mine was hardly the case. I found every kind of negativity on their website, and it was extremely hard to read some of the comments...

When my husband passed away in 2009, I left those boards behind. I knew that they would not understand my situation or struggles, so why even bother with them anymore? The truth is that every woman experiences pregnancy differently.