To The Salesmen Who Have Prejudged Me... I Want You To Know The Costly Mistakes You Made

Dear Salesman,

I know you're overwhelmed with an influx of customer prospects, and that's why I'm writing to you now. You see, I’m not the type of woman who walks into a store and falls for your fast talking at first sight - I'm much more methodical in my decision making. Maybe if you asked me a question other than what my monthly budget was or pushed me towards something that made NO sense to me, then maybe we could have forged a real connection.

The thing is this: there are plenty of women like myself out there. We don't want to be treated like something between "a sale" and "the next place to visit. We don't want to be treated like a "great buy" or a "can't miss". We're not just here for the quick fix. And most importantly, I'm NOT here to get lucky. I am here because I know that your business will last – either through you or it’s demise given my time is nearly up and there are more retailers in my immediate vicinity.

I really hope you guys have read this far because you've wasted a lot of money and effort on romanticizing me because of some marketing gimmick. You've done what I wouldn't do - judge me when we didn't even get off on the right foot. And guess what? The results are all your fault.

We sought the same thing: to be valued as a human being. You succeeded while I failed...and even though it’s not your fault – you failed in your promise to me to represent me as an intelligent, honest, and passionate woman who is worth more than just a 10 second window-dressing. But I'm worried you won't find anyone like me in the future because you couldn't see past the surface to get to my real desires. I like to feel good about my money and I know its potential - I just need businesses like yours to do the same.

The fact is, a few months ago, you guys came into my life to remind me that giving a woman what she wants is not as simple as it is made out to be. You got me in the door with your "can't lose" trips, fast talking and sexual innuendos. But when it came down to brass tacks, you were on auto-pilot and couldn't turn off your sales funnel long enough to give me the time of day – so I walked out. That did not happen by accident. That happened because somewhere along the line, you misjudged me.

You said this wasn't a "can't lose" deal, and yet it was (and still is), even though I told you I wasn't interested in anything but a shopping trip. Even though I told you I was looking for something to wear to my sister's wedding, you pushed on with a "must-have" outfit that didn't fit the bill. And once again, it’s not your fault – that would have been fine if the return policy had read something other than "no refunds". You guys need to work on your return policy before someone like me takes your bait...and it wasn't because of your supreme customer service, but because I knew that you didn't have a clue about what I truly wanted.

I don't know why you're surprised – you knew what I was looking for from the onset and still didn't give me anything even resembling it. But I don't blame you – you probably thought I was just another one of your "quirky" customers like the other women who have walked into your store...they all (like me) giggled at the same things and then dropped $3,000 on those same trends.

The only difference between my frivolous experience and those other women is that I'm not alone. I have the freedom to speak out about what you've done to me, and I'm doing it because...I actually realize what you guys do "down on the floor", and I realize that most of your customers don't have a clue how or why they're buying something that they don't even want. You're easy marks, salesmen, because most of your customers are looking for you to get them to where they need to go without ever asking where they need to go. They're simply looking for a place to feel good about themselves. And you, as the salesman, have the power to lead them there with your words and actions. You can make their experience an empowering one or a degrading one - it’s up to you.

I'm not judging you just because I could have taken advantage of the same situations you offer customers – I'm judging you because I know what happens on your floor, and it's time someone said something about the industry's lack of ethical practices. Women like me shop at places like yours because in general, salesmen are willing to take chances that other businesses aren't willing to take. Businesses like yours want to sell you something, and they want to do it in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. But times are changing, and making sales at the expense of someone else's well-being is not only unethical, but it's also disrespectful.

If I'm bothering you guys with my thoughts on your business, then please understand that I did it with the best intentions – to help change the industry for the better so that women will be able to walk into your store without feeling intimidated. But if you don't like what I have to say, then you have a lot bigger problems than me...that is, if there's anyone left in your industry that even cares about what I think.

I hope this doesn't come off as an angry letter or a rant written by someone who just wasn't prepared to shop at your store. This was written by someone who has worked in the sales industry, who knows that the most important part of selling anything is listening to what a customer wants and giving it to them – and giving it to them with elegance and class.

Conclusion

It is not only your job to listen to what a customer wants, but also part of your job is to make the customer feel good about themselves. I have no doubt that you guys have great intentions, but it’s time you understand that those intentions don’t matter unless they are actually followed through with – in this case, it wasn’t. It was the lack of follow through that really bothered me. Which is why I decided to share my experience with you because I want you to know where I’m coming from, so hopefully after reading this letter, you'll be willing to make some adjustments and do things differently.