Transforming Fear

There were two fears that came to mind when I started this blog post- fear of failure, and the fear of not being good enough. But then, I realized that there are actually many other fears that can flick onto your screen when you're trying to do something significant. Let's talk about one in particular:

The fear of not being likeable enough.

Nervousness is natural and often fruitful for performance, but what does it do for your relationships? Acknowledge it as a normal aspect of yourself and move on– even if people decide they don't like you as much because you're a little bit nervous, at least they'll know the real you. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't expect people to like you more after being nervous. Once you've shown them your weird self, they've seen it all.

If there's a constant in the lives of people who are socially intelligent, it's that they're always worrying about what others think of them. If you find your mind wandering to that place often, treat it as a cue to try a new skill or reach out to someone new. When you resume worrying about what others think of you, remind yourself that social accuracy is not the same thing as perfection– if people don't like one awkward thing about you, they'll still like other things. Most importantly, ask yourself what you really want in life, and then find a way to get it. People will respect that.

The fear of not being good enough can hit you in various places: "I'm not good enough to do this," or "They won't like me if I'm this way– I need to be a certain way." It's hard to shake when you're so close to it, but remember that the fact that you're trying is already good enough. Just keep going.

I want to hear from YOU: What fears pop into your mind when trying to do something meaningful? Which ones do you think you'll conquer? Comment below!

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Articles Date Posted: Oct. 30th, 2014 Category: Blog, Humanize Yourself Tags: fear, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough Next Article >

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View Comments Oldest Posts Newest Pages Page 1 of 3 1 11 > << First | < Previous | Next > Last >> RSS Feed Newer Post Older Post Home Subscribe or Login to post a new comment. Datto Datto's Blog [Blog] Enter your email address for updates about this blog: Email This Blog All About Me Hello! I'm Datto. Here are a few things about me: 1. I tag every 'tater I eat. 2. I'm not a comic book reading, roller-skating super hero 3. I don't live in the city 4. I'm not short 5. It's not that hard to say my name 6. My next hairstyle will be "my haircut around here" 7. The best way to get me interested in something is to put it on a banana 8. When eating tater tot casserole, always use two forks 1 2345678910 ... 12 Previous Blog Entries...

» » 2013-07-29 Workout «

Posted by Datto at 9:37 am

Not only did I work out today (Wednesday), but I had a scheduled workout with my trainer yesterday morning. To my surprise, he asked if I was ready for our usual workout. Anytime a person asks me if I'm ready for something, an inner voice tells me to do whatever it is that they want, and that voice can be pretty loud sometimes. When the voice told me to go, though, I went.

I'm going to have to start taking the stairs instead of the elevator and I'll probably have to get a treadmill. My plan is to not take any more physical therapy visits.

Working out with my trainer is helpful because he tells me what he thinks will help my legs and helps me work out what I need, but the real help comes from working through it with another person. I've gotten pretty self-sufficient at working out on my own, but getting some outside feedback from a trainer has been helpful. I think that's something that everyone should do: work out with someone else once in a while. It's a good idea if you have the chance to work out with a trainer, but it doesn't have to be. Find someone who's in better shape than you are and see if they'll help you out.

You might worry that working with someone else will slow your progress down. I'm not at the point where I'm worried about that, but it's an important thought when making a decision like that. The key is to be honest with yourself, or whoever is helping you, about what you're capable of and what your limits are. There's no shame in seeking help from someone else.

I was worried that I wouldn't have the energy to get through a workout today, but after my workout yesterday morning, I felt fantastic. I'm so glad for that because it means that I can work out without feeling completely beat down afterwards.

Workout Like a Boss Keep track of your workouts with this app: Get Fitness Tracker Logs on the iOS or Android apps and share with friends.

I've been taking the stairs instead of using the elevator at work, and I also walk instead of taking my car everywhere now. I've been getting used to taking the stairs in the building I'm at, but it took some work to get used to them. Before I got to the office, I spent a few minutes walking up and down on each flight of stairs. Not long after that, I started going up and down really fast. Today, when I work out with my trainer, we're going to start by walking up and down slowly. It was just so hard not listening to my body yesterday!Today was a good day. That's not something that everyone can say with any regularity; it's very rare for me to feel really good on Monday or Tuesday.

Conclusion I'm going to be honest with you. I was in a good mood when I went to work this morning, but I'm not sure that it lasts. There's someone at the office who tells me that all of my good moods are fake and that I should stop having them because they make people think that my work is better than it really is and it's not.

I've been thinking about his statement a lot today and realize just how much he worries about what people think of him. It's something that most people do, though. We worry about what other people think all the time.