Transform Your Imperfections

The only way to lastingly change your life is with a game-changing intervention.

It's true, not everyone needs permanent change. Some people are happy with the status quo, even if it's unhealthy or unhappy. But if you're tired and stagnant and need something new, there's a process that will work for you- an intervention that can create long term, irreversible changes in a few weeks or days. And I'm just the person to tell you how!

TWISTING YOUR TONE 

A) Write an introduction to an informative and factual blog post titled "How the Universe Expands".

B) Write an emotional letter to a friend or loved one titled "I Need You More Than Ever".

C) Find yourself in a conversation with an acquaintance, listening to a client, watching television, reading the paper. Pay attention to what they're saying. Comparing their tone with your own, notice where they rate in terms of happiness and peace of mind. Jot down your observations.

C) Next time you're telling a story to someone, notice how you're speaking. Is it with love or fear? The more you practice speaking with love, the more pleasant your tone will become. Be aware of the moments when you speak harshly to someone, and remember that tone is everything! 

D) Write a blog post taking issue with Adolph Hitler's "final solution" E) Write a letter to a parent expressing regret for some past behavior. F) Ask yourself how you would be if you were honest and sincere. G) Ask yourself how you would be if you loved more.

H) Notice how you're feeling and then find a way to express that feeling in your speech, interactions, music and art.

I) Think of a tiny change that will have an amazingly positive effect on your life (something small, like adding just one extra minute to your exercise routine each day). No matter what happens during the next few weeks or months – no matter if it changes nothing else at all – make sure you do the tiny thing every single day. If a tiny, tiny change can make all the difference in the world, imagine what a drastic change can do!

J) Imagine that you're going to die on your 50th birthday from an unexpected illness. You have just a few months to live – what do you want to accomplish? Now, imagine that when you die on your 50th birthday, you've done everything on the list. What else would you like accomplished? (If this imaginary exercise makes it impossible for you to think about anything else for weeks or months at a time, great!)

K) Find an example of what happens when someone or something goes too far. An example can be from real life, from fiction or from someone famous (or infamous).

L) Write an essay or letter to a friend about some tragic or difficult life experience you had. (Not Dr. Phil!)

M) Find a song on the radio that reminds you of someone, a loved one or yourself in a particular time or place. If the song is speaking badly of someone, try adding that person's name in parenthesis after the title of the song. If it speaks well of someone, add "and..." and your positive attribute in parenthesis after the title. If it has no words at all, just write down how you feel whenever you hear it.

N) Be aware of how your voice sounds when happy and sad. Write an email or phone message to a friend, telling them how you're feeling.

O) Do some research on the causes of your problems (physical and mental). Make a list of all the medical conditions that could possibly be affecting you. Also make a list of all the psychological problems you are experiencing as well.

P) If you have time to do nothing else in this process, please take a look at my previous post about emotional baggage and this one , which details how to use your "emotional baggage" as fuel for transformation.)

Q) Write an essay titled: "What is Happiness?"

R) Write an essay titled: "How Did You Let Yourself Go?" or continue with the emotional letter from step B above.

S) Watch the news. Does it make you feel better or worse? TV dramas and comedies?

T) Any and all of the items above could be reworded in a slightly different way. Just find something that interests you! 

U) At least once a day, especially while you're working, think to yourself: "I am loved" or "This is funny" or "I am good enough".

V) Watch your thoughts. What are they telling you? And what are they telling others? 

W) Listen to your language and eliminate any words that aren't ever going to help you win friends and influence people.

X) Make a list of all the statements you're making that are wrong or negative.

Y) Maybe you think things like "I trust nobody" or "I used to be happy, but now I'm depressed", which is making your life pretty miserable. If you can recognize these false beliefs and change them to positive ones, your life will change.

Z) Read the above article on emotional freedom and then write an essay titled: "How to Find Freedom." It should be an essay that describes how you would feel if you had complete emotional freedom in every area of your life.

+ = A nice way to say what you mean without putting anyone else down

"My editor used to say that a well-placed adjective can be good for a writer's soul." — Tim O'Brien

"Stay away from the words pompous, precious and pretentious. Don't use them in your writing or speaking. You'll never achieve the level of perfection you're aiming at if you let such trifles turn your head." — Mary McCarthy

"Language is the source of misunderstanding." — Edward de Bono

"There are four rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."— W. Somerset Maugham

"When words don't come easily, it's because we have been using the wrong ones." — Rabindranath Tagore

"We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness." — Thich Nhat Hahn

"There is a difference between a good writer and a great one. It is merely an affair of emphasis. The good writer excels through character-drawing; the great one throws her weight on some other quality,–directness of impression, say, or concision." — Virginia Woolf

"There are two ways to write a book. You can sit in a room by yourself and suffer. Or you can be like a sardine packed in oil, and suffer faster." — Douglas Adams

"I don't know any artist who is not afraid of being understood." — Pablo Picasso (1967)

"You should never try to say anything completely new. It's impossible. Instead, just say what you really mean and leave people to find their own new meanings in it." — E. M. Forster

"Writing is a strange occupation because you cannot do it alone and it is true that some writers only write for the pleasure of work; others are out to say something; still others write chiefly because they have something to say. Perhaps for them writing is a means of discovery, or at least a way of tapping their unconscious… As for me, I can only say that I have written two books. The first I began at twenty-four and finished at thirty, the second I began at forty and didn't finish until last week. Each time the writing was a shock, similar perhaps to being struck by lightning." — Marguerite Yourcenar

"I don't write because I want to; I write because I have to." — Ray Bradbury

"Writing is like driving down a country road at night. You never see further than your headlights but you can make the whole trip that way. And that's the way writing is. You see only what you've put between the lines." — Katharine Graham

"I don't think I have ever written a popular song, I think it's something that we probably all do." — Elvis Costello

"But life is an illusion; how can you invent or fake anything? There is no life but there is music. Music and poetry. Poetry and music. And art." — Mystique

"I would never make a film unless it had some purpose beyond just entertainment… The best films are those that are morally instructive in some way. I'd like to make one that's about the morality of homelessness." — Spike Lee

"I try to write the scene in my own mind and then what I do is I try to put it into the words I can find. In a lot of ways, these books are not just novels, they're scrapbooks. They're my scrapbooks. I've got all my relationships in them; these are snapshots of my life." — Truman Capote

"It's a strange thing… You write with an idea and then you turn on the light and there it is." — J.K. Rowling

"An artist who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a brush to canvas." — Henri Matisse

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly;…who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and if not — then at least he knows his failures, so that he comes out of them strengthened in valuable learning and content with himself." — Theodore Roosevelt

"Your stories are better than your poems. They spring from your life. They are true. That is why they are your best." — Maya Angelou

"I think people who say it's hard to make a living writing don't know how easy it is to die. It's much harder to make a living than to die." — Thurston Moore

"Don't be tied into some one style, or any one writer's style. Just start writing and go with the flow." — Malcolm Gladwell

"Can you imagine if talking animals existed? I think it would be very important for people to have conversations with animals, because most of our relationships with animals now are fuelled by movies. "I love it when my cat does this." How do you know? I think it's very important for people to learn what animals are like in their own environment. I think the idea of animals being humanoid is a bit ridiculous. Why don't we just study them as they are?" — David Mitchell

"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." — Oprah Winfrey

"I've had really bad experiences with film scripts and book manuscripts, but I still want to do both." — Max Brooks

"The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Language is not a conduit; it's an infection. Words are traps, snares, and delusions. They are generated by mechanisms in our minds, often without our knowledge or consent." — Alain de Botton

"There is no dialogue in life." — John Cage

"Today was the most annoying day of my life. I had to write a book report, as usual. I asked myself what little value it would have if I were to write gloomy pages on the "dark times", when all my enemies have already got their heads chopped off and plopped into the bottomless pit of loneliness. So I let an imaginary pen drop to the ground and shattered, like a giant crystal ball. I have no choice but to live every day in absolute peace, without any enemies." — John Green

"Nothing ever has to end up on the cutting room floor. Everything can be edited out at any time, even if you would prefer not to." — Alison Bechdel

"The thing that inspires me is forcing myself to be creative. And I am always surprised by the things I can do… That is why you wouldn't want me as a character in any book – because I'm too imaginative." — Sylvia Plath

"I know what people think about when they look at me. It goes back to when I was a little kid and I used to get picked on by other kids. Well, that's just going to be a continuing thing my whole life." — Drew Brees

"A book is something you can't put down until you're done reading it, but you don't want anybody else to read it before you do." — Stephen King

"Sometimes inspiration strikes me out of nowhere at 3 am, and I have no idea why. The muse has been trying for weeks to find a useful way into my brain – if only she'd leave me alone for a couple of hours! So finally I decide it's just not going to work today.

Conclusion: I get out of bed and write something totally different instead. And when the proper mood finally hits, I just pick up where I left off and go with it." — Aaron Sorkin

"You have to reach a point where you say: 'I'm ready. Bring it on.' It's a control thing… If you're ready to fail, you're ready for success." — John Cusack

"The only way I can figure out how to be happy is writing or sitting in front of the football with friends and family.