A Minute of Deliberate Attraction is better than None.

 

 A Minute of Deliberate Attraction is better than None.


http://www.wikihow.com/A-Minute-of-Deliberate-Attraction-is-Better-than-None

Nowadays, the dating scene is changing and becoming a lot more shallow than it used to be. With so many options and such little time to pursue these options, it makes it easy for people to overlook each other without even giving them a chance. This is where deliberate attraction comes in; by being deliberate with your approach you can avoid the chance of getting ignored.

Being deliberately attractive is about being honest and true to yourself rather than trying to impress the opposite sex. Being a deliberate attractive person puts yourself in the best possible position. After all, you have to be honest about what you want, which usually means looking for what you want and giving people a chance to be attracted to you. This means that instead of focusing on exchanging numbers with people, you're focused on developing real connections.

Asserting yourself can be a difficult thing for men because we've been taught (and sometimes told) that if we treat women the way they say they want to be treated they'll go running at our feet. Fortunately, this is not true. Treating women as equals (not treating them like sex objects) can also be a difficult thing for men because we've also been taught (and sometimes told) that if we treat women the way they say they want to be treated they'll go running at our feet. Fortunately, this is also not true.

Be deliberate all the time. Don't take things personally or give into people's demands so that you can seek validation or get their approval. When you choose to be a deliberate attraction instead of a victim, people will give you plenty of attention and responses anyway by default. They will like you, even if they don't approach you. You won't have to make promises and try to get people's approval in order to attract them because you will have attracted them first by being a good, honest person.

Don't be too picky about your choice of partners. You should be selective, but only select the ones who are attractive and worthy of your time. Neglecting people who are not attractive and do not give you what you need or want is not in the best interest of your love life or your social life. Also, by eliminating those who are not attractive and unworthy of your time, you will be forced to become more selective and find others who are.

Assume that everyone wants something from you. Everyone wants something from you -- whether it is sex, friendship, or an emotional connection. Before you show any interest in someone, get to know what their motives for interacting with you are. You can always find out if someone is truly interested in your open acceptance by asking them what they want from you (the answer will vary from person to person).

As the open acceptance of the deliberate attraction, you should always let those who want something from you know that you are not here to provide them anything (unless they are a friend or family member). In other words, don't lead people on. If someone approaches me as a prospective love interest and tries to hook up with me, I will immediately ask them what they want from me. If they say that they want to hook up with me, I will express my opinion of both hooking-up and them. If they want to be friends, I will accept that. If they want something in between, then we can negotiate that. Although being honest is the best policy, being open about your intentions is not the same as being vulnerable.

Express your intentions and what you want from someone up-front; don't let them find out by trial and error or by guessing. If you're interested in someone romantically or sexually, tell them. If you're interested in a friendship only, say so. If you are looking for both friendship and romance with someone else (or a threesome!), tell them that too. By letting people know what you want from them, you are allowing yourself to be in the best position to find what you want.

What is being deliberate about? It is being honest about what you want, not just to one person, but to everyone. Therefore, when dating or looking for a potential partner, you should get the learning experience of dating many different kinds of people and not just one type of person. A woman may be attracted by a man's personality and humor; this does not mean that she wants him sexually as well. Or she may be fascinated with a man's wealth or status; this doesn't mean that she wants him romantically either. Therefore, by dating many types of people, you can learn so much about the differences between men and women and the differences between people who are attractive and people who are not attractive. This will allow you to keep a more open mind instead of looking for one type of "perfect" person.

Being deliberate means being honest about what you want. Sometimes honesty can be scary because we have been conditioned to believe that if we tell others what we want, they will start acting on our behalf and do things for us. This is false; however, if two people are open with each other then they should both be willing to do something for each other that benefits them in some way. You can't get anything without giving something in return first. So, ask for what you want, whether it is friendship, romance, or sex. If the person you are interested in doesn't want to give you what you want, then it's time to find someone else who does.

Being deliberate is not just about finding a dating partner. It's also about finding friends and allies; people who share similar interests with you; people who are honest, sincere and trustworthy; people who know what they want from others and are able to get it. Being deliberate doesn't mean that you have to be the center of attention or always win the affection of others.

Post a Comment

About