For many people, shyness is a debilitating and embarrassing problem. Suppose you’re also one of those who can’t shake the feeling of trepidation in social situations. In that case, it might feel like you’ll never be able to conquer your shyness. But fear not! There are plenty of methods to help yourself become more confident in social situations and build an identity that showcases your true personality.
1. Cultivate a go-getter attitude.
When you’re ready to leave the house, have some punchline prepared for an inside joke with your friends. And then, as soon as they arrive, make sure to jump into the conversation with enthusiasm, regardless of their level of shyness. This is an easy way to teach yourself a lesson about how to push yourself out of your comfort zones and face new people in public settings—assuming you don’t overdo it and socialize with someone who seems so nervous that they can’t keep up a steady stream of small talk.
2. Take some time for alone time.
If you’re timid, this might not be an excellent idea. But for most of us, it’s beneficial to give ourselves some small amount of privacy. Go for a walk, meditate, or go for a long drive to clear your thoughts. When you emerge from your zone of solitude, be sure that you have at least some topic in mind before approaching anyone. Otherwise, the conversation will end with awkward silence, which will make both parties feel uncomfortable, often uncomfortable that they felt uncomfortable.
3. Be yourself when possible.
This might sound a little strange, but the best way to break out of your shell is to be yourself and not try to hide behind a mask. People are more likely to accept you if they don’t think that you’re trying something different than what they expect you to be (the person at the party who’s always on edge is likely trying to mask their nervousness). But people are more likely to treat you like an idiot if they feel that you’re pretending to be someone else. Don’t try too hard and tell jokes; just being yourself can help you feel more confident.
4. Stand up for yourself when in social situations.
If you’re shy and a person says something you don’t like, it can be straightforward to shut your mouth and look away. The best way to show that you won’t let anything slide is to respond. If someone insults you or makes a bad joke, the best response is to ignore them. But if someone torments you, stand up for yourself loudly. “I don’t appreciate being made fun of!” or “I disagree with what you said about me!” are examples of phrases that can help others know that you mean business when a situation gets rough and awkward.
5. Don’t be intimidated by negative people.
This is tough, but it’s important to remember that shy people can be just as intimidating as anyone else. If you feel like you’re getting bombarded by someone making rude comments, don’t let them know that it bothers you or bother you in the slightest. If someone says something that offends you, don’t worry about it and try to move on with the rest of your day (if necessary). Try not to let this person have an emotional effect on your day, or something like this will only make you feel worse about yourself for the rest of your life.
6. Don’t focus on making friends.
People naturally outgoing and chatty will often find themselves in plenty of trouble when they try to make new friends. It’s easy to be so focused on becoming “best friends forever” or whatever you forget to keep it professional, move on, and keep your mind running towards the next friend hunt. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like you need to make friends with everyone. Some of your best friends might be acquaintances or total strangers. Don’t take it personally if a friend (or acquaintance) doesn’t call you or send you an e-mail after one social interaction. That doesn’t mean they want to lose touch with you forever; they might not be that interested in the long run.
7. Be comfortable in your skin.
A big part of bolstering your confidence is making sure that you feel confident about yourself as a person and who you are. If you constantly feel like you don't fit in because of your shyness, your self-image will crumble away. But suppose you embrace who you are and what makes you different from everyone else. In that case, there’s no reason to be anxious about everlasting after a lifetime.
8. If a social situation does go awry, don’t take it personally.
In the beginning, it might be challenging to remain calm during social situations. Still, the more time that passes, the easier it gets to take things for the way they are instead of letting your emotions get involved. Don’t take a social interaction as some personal attack. If you feel like you’re not doing well in a social situation, don’t worry about what others think. It is normal to feel nervous and anxious before meeting new people, so keep in mind that most people who plan on going out to parties or other social events are probably as nervous and anxious as you are and should be commended for their bravery.
9. Develop a sense of humor.
This way, you won’t be cracked up all the time by awkward moments when things go wrong (whether they go right or wrong). This will allow you to deal with the social awkwardness more professionally and make it easier for you to move on and get back to your life.
10. Know that if you continue feeling nervous.
This is normal. When they’re in their teens, most shy people end up growing out of it, but it can take some time—and probably most of us had had small awkward moments when we were younger (or even over the last few years). Take a deep breath, and don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel like something went wrong. The moment is gone and cannot be undone, so accept what happened and move on.
Doing all of these things will improve your confidence, and it doesn’t matter if you learn to speak up the first time or the last time. The more you put yourself in social situations, the more you’ll be able to break out of your shell.
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